Father’s day is tomorrow. Since last Father’s Day, I have come to think that life as a series of verbs of being. Am/is.... was/were. Things are. Things were. I was. I am. I have had a year of “is” and “am” becoming “was”. I changed "I am an unhappy Dick’s Sporting Goods corporate employee” into “I was a Dick’s employee”, which became “I am a happy independent graphic designer".
I left the corporate world to find something missing in my life. What I found were things to be grateful for every day. I was grateful for all the little things and, of course, the big things like my husband, family and friends. One of the best years of my life unfolded with even more amazing things to be grateful for. The more gratitude I sent out into the universe, the more blessings came. What I didn’t realize was that as the universe was helping me let go of the past, it was also preparing me for one of the worst things a person can go through.
Verbs of being change in an instant. Frank Sedlak passed on March 30th. He was my father.
He was funny
He was a beautiful singer
He was a hard worker
He was a good man
He was a wonderful father to me and my brothers
He was a loving husband to my mom
Having to say that he “was” those things instead of he “is” those things is painful. But I am grateful that he was all of those things. I am grateful to have had such a man help shape my life. Not everyone gets a great father. Not everyone gets to have one as long as I did. It was in that spirit of gratitude that I held his hand and said goodbye.
I am grateful that In the the last year of my Dad’s life, he saw his daughter change from an unhappy, frustrated, short-tempered person to a very happy woman. But one thing will never change. I was, am, and will always be… Daddy’s little girl.